10 Hilarious Sleep-Deprived Stories From Moms

10 of our favorite sleep-induced mishaps and silly stories from breastfeeding moms.

 

Breastfeeding is truly an incredible thing. The fact that a mom can nourish and grow her baby entirely from her own body is amazing. But let’s face it, breastfeeding can also be hilarious, awkward, and downright silly.

So we asked our moms to share the funniest breastfeeding stories. Because if anyone needs a good laugh, it’s breastfeeding mamas. Check out 10 of our favorite sleep-induced mishaps and funny stories:

The Boob Monger + His Brother

“I have twin boys, one of whom is a total boob monger. I was tandem feeding and they both fell asleep. Apparently my boob man wasn’t done because he then tried to latch onto his brother’s head in his sleep. His brother had the most priceless look on his face, like ‘Dude. No. That’s my head.’” — Margot C.

The Runaway Dog

“While sitting on the couch pumping, my dog came over to sit on my lap. He got his head tangled up in the pump tubing, got scared and took off running, pulling my pump off my breasts and running through the house with the pump parts around his neck and spilling the milk everywhere. I laugh about it now but was super upset when it happened.” – Brittney S.R.

The Sprinkler Effect

“When I started breastfeeding with my first born, my milk came in with a bang, and I did not expect it. I was sitting in the hospital bed four days after he was born, preparing to pump, when my husband came in and sat in front of me with lunch. I started to self express (which I do every time before I pump), and at first I don’t even get a drop, so I think hmm maybe I’m not using enough pressure. Then I used more pressure and milk squirted out in 4 different directions, at least 3 feet, and right in my husband’s eye. I’m dying laughing, but freaking out too because now it’s like the floodgates have opened and milk is leaking everywhere. What’s more, my poor husband is in the bathroom freaking out, because he doesn’t know if breast milk is bad for your eyes and if he will be ok. I called the nurse in and she started laughing but assured my husband breast milk would not hurt his eye. It was an interesting experience for sure!” — Alyssa G.

The Autocorrect

“My phone kept autocorrecting ‘nursing’ to ‘murdering’ for some unknown reason. So I was telling people often that I just had to finish murdering the baby quick.” — J. (Disclaimer: No babies were harmed in the making of this blog! ?)

The Traffic Stop

“I would pump on the way to work (fully covered and buckled up) and got stopped for speeding (only 3 over the limit) the officer let me go with a warning. He was more embarrassed than me!” — Stacie G.

The Cereal Enthusiast

“When my daughter was about 10 months old, I would give her handfuls of Cheerios to snack on at her leisure. One day, she was snacking on her Cheerios, crawled over to me and wanted her ‘nunnies.’ I picked her up and latched her on. Not even 2 minutes into nursing, she slid her hand up, opened her mouth, slid a Cheerio in her mouth and went right on back to nursing. Apparently, she wanted some milk with her cereal!” — Autumn C.

The Furry Friend

“In one of the early weeks, my baby was sleeping in his bassinet next to our bed. In the middle of the night, I heard him fussing so I pulled him close to latch him. But he wouldn’t latch. And then I was really puzzled by how much hair he had. Took quite a while to realize I was trying to breastfeed the cat.” — Rachel E.M.

The Man Boob

“When my daughter was little, her dad – who was shirtless – laid her on his chest. She latched onto him so quickly. I’ve never seen someone more terrified in their life!” — Kayleigh M.

The Ear Worm

“My little man was feeding in the middle of the night, and I was trying to help him re-latch. I was wondering why he wasn’t latching when I noticed I was trying to stick my nipple in his ear.” — Larissa T.M.

The Giggles

“It was one of those middle of the night, half asleep (both of us) nursing sessions. I was leaning back on a stack of pillows and he was draped across me, belly to belly, and sleepily nursing. He must have dozed for a second because he lost his latch and made this funny popping/suction sound. It startled him and I tried to stifle a giggle and suddenly he pops his little head up and looks at me stunned, then giggled. That, of course, made me giggle, and before you know it we were in a full-blown giggle fit. We ended up waking up my very confused husband, which just made us laugh more. It lasted 5 or more minutes and we both did that little sigh at the end of a good laugh. He nursed a bit longer and fell asleep. It’s one of my favorite memories.” – Sol C.D.

Want more funny breastfeeding stories? Here’s some that our moms in our social communities shared with us that were too hilarious to pass up!

  • "My son was born late evening after a 12-hour labor. I couldn’t believe how cute he was, so I was up until 3 A.M. just staring at him. That night at 3:30, a nurse walked in to take him for his first bath and we had a full conversation while I was completely asleep. At 4:00, I’m up and can’t find my baby! No recollection of our conversation at all, I go running to the nurses’ station saying “where’s my baby? I lost my baby!” The nurse comes around the corner with him and apologized, saying our conversation seemed so normal that she had no idea I was asleep. There he was, all clean and thankfully still ready to give me some sleep!"
  • "I was pumping in the middle of the night and was about to dump the milk I just pumped."
  • "Tried to nurse the baby with my bra still on."
  • "For some reason, I unplugged the camera for the baby monitor and took it to bed with me. It wasn’t until the receiver started making a high-pitched sound because the two were close together did I even realize, because it woke the dog."
  • "Lost my baby’s binkie in the night, searched my whole house, and found it in my cleavage."
  • "Forgetting to attach the bottles to pump and not realizing it until the blanket is soaked with milk."
  • "I was so upset because I couldn’t find the phone…while I was talking to my sister…on the phone."
  • "I fell asleep pumping one night. Woke up an hour later to full bottles!"
  • "Forgetting the baby was nursing and asking my husband to bring me the baby to nurse."
  • "My coffee gets reheated in the morning about 20 times."
  • "Me: “Where’s the baby?” Baby: Safely napping in my arms."
  • "I woke up and thought my husband’s arm was the baby who escaped his bassinet."
  • "I handed the baby to my husband after a night with 3 hours of sleep and fell asleep face-down in the middle of a sentence."
  • “'Brewed' a pot of water instead of coffee! I even watched it for two cups before realizing it."

Let us assure you, mama – you are not alone! Losing (a lot) of sleep is common when you have a new baby at home, but remember that these early times with your newborn don’t last forever. Soon enough, he or she will be sleeping through the night – or at least for longer stretches – and they’ll become increasingly independent. Though it can be tough to see beyond the current day (or night) when you have a newborn, don’t forget to enjoy these moments – and have a laugh at them on occasion too.